When All Is Said and Done

I was given an interesting assignment in one of my classes last week. We were asked to write our own obituary. Now at first I thought this was an easy task. I began to think about what I would want mine to say about me. What points in my life I would want highlighted and what parts of my life I would want forgotten. I thought about what it would say about me if I was to die today, and then I decided to think about what I would want my life to say about me in the many years to come.

I decided that I may be able to use this exercise to help direct my future in a small way. So I wrote an obituary for me in 40 years time. It still mentioned many of the things my one for today did. The same incredible family and friends that I love and that I have been fortunate enough to have love me. They will always be dear to my heart and an important part of who I am and what my life is about.

I then thought about the things I would like to accomplish in the years to come, that would make a statement about what was important to me, what and who I cared about, how I spent the time God gave me. I have kept a copy of the obituary so that I can refer to it to keep my life on track. I want to make a difference in peoples lives. I want my life to be a life of love, compassion, understanding.

I know people who seem to get their happiness from trying to tear others down, seeming to get joy from the pain they cause. It took me a long time to realize that those type of people are really the most miserable of all. I could never understand how they could live with themselves but now I wonder what their lives will really have meant. To have fame or money or power means nothing if you had to hurt others to get it. What do any of those things mean when others are starving, sad or in need of comfort? When I am done my life, hopefully many many years from now I hope that it was a life of love and kindness. I hope that all who knew me felt better about themselves and life through my actions.

I love inspiring quotes, since I have little wisdom of my own to share, I thought I would share other peoples 🙂

Happiness comes when your work and words are of benefit to yourself and others.- Buddha

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.- Denis Waitley

Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves.- Helen Keller

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.- Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama

There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life — happiness, freedom, and peace of mind — are always attained by giving them to someone else.- Peyton Conway March

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.- Mohandas K. Gandhi

The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions, not our circumstances.- Martha Washington

Many of the happiest people I know have very little material possessions, they are not well known or rich, they simply live their lives with love, gratitude and compassion for others. It took me a really long time to become happy, to find true happiness. I had to endure and go through some of the darkest and most painful losses in my life to find where my happiness lies. My circumstances are not perfect. There are some things that I wish were different in my life. There are two family members I would have close to me if I could change things…but when I do see them again I will be a better person because since losing them I have found happiness, a purpose in my life, true friends and learned to truly appreciate the love of my family and friends. I have realized how little the opinions of others matter, it is how I live my life that matters. I am a better mom, daughter, sister and friend because I have found peace and happiness after the storms of my life.  I hope when my day comes to leave this mortal life that my life will testify of my love for my daughter, parents, brother, sista and fellow man. That I will have been the source of happiness and peace for others through living the best life I can.

What do you hope your life will tell others when all is said and done?

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5 Responses to When All Is Said and Done

  1. Gnarfflinger says:

    My obituary today would be a simple listing of the family I leave behind. Not much, eh? For several years, I thought what I did mattered, only to find out that the people closest to me didn’t care about it. Sure I could find kindred spirits out there, but there always seemed a wall there, keeping them at arms length. As a result, I found myself back in a situation where anything that made me feel good didn’t matter, and the things that brought pain were the most important. Even now, little has changed.

    As for the future, I’d like to add something to it, but the list of surviving family will likely be shorter rather than longer. I’d like to see the terms “Husband”, “Father”, maybe even “Grandfather” on the list, but I don’t see that happening. Again, the things I could offer a wife just aren’t that important, and the things that she would seek most would be most difficult to give. I know I have something to offer, but it seems that those things would be easily discounted.

    Sometimes I wonder if I haven’t been thrown into a crucible of people as miserable as you describe. Sometimes I look at the people around me and wonder if any moment of pleasure would cause them intense pain. In some cases, I try to tell myself they mean well, but I can’t hide from the pain for long. Nothing I’ve tried has helped for long, not games, booze, dope, philosophy, school or even faith. I’ve even tried stooping to their level but that only made it worse. The only thing that has helped was trying to help others. Something which may be truly out of my reach.

    I guess maybe I just feel powerless to help those I do care about when life unleashes Hell upon them. Sure I may lift their spirits for a few hours, but what real impact do I have? Perhaps it’s not my gift to solve the problems, but I have to be ale to do better. Maybe I can’t cure a disease, return a lost loved one, or give someone a job, but I have to be able to find some way to help them through these struggles. But what can I do at arm’s length? I’d like to think I help more than I will see, but it’s not enough. I guess at heart I’m between a detective and an inventor–I want to understand the problem and find a way to make it better! Is that really too much to ask?

    Maybe I’m in my darkest hour, and have to find my own way through. But what happens when you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel? Some of the people closest to me are the ones that have been hit mercilessly with the trials of life, especially when I seem powerless to do anything about it. Maybe what hurts me most is when people I love suffer…

  2. Sista says:

    There is no one in this world kinder , caring or more compassionate then you. There is no truer friend then you. Throughout my life I had never found the one true person who would be there in my life whom I would trust with anything , until I met you . If what you want to accomplish in life is to be a wonderful person who cares deeply about the people around them , who gives without thinking of herself , well Conn , you have already accomplished that. Anyone who knows you and have had the chance to spend time with you , will be richer in there lives because of it.
    I love you my Sista and I am rich in my life because of you. I will cherish our friendship forever .

  3. Kathy says:

    This is really an interesting assignment–what would we want said in our obituary? I will have to think about this. Just had another “lesson” today that everyone else is not going to view things exactly the way we do. Like so many of your quotes.

    Thank you for stopping by my blog and commenting! Good luck with your own blogging…

  4. auntfun says:

    When my husband faced another heart surgery about six months ago, I again set about to writing his obituary in my mind. Writing his was easy and it is still in my head because he came through just fine. Thinking about my own obituary was not easy. Great exercise, however! Thanks for sharing it.

  5. thecrazylady says:

    Thank you everyone for taking the time to read my post and to leave a comment for me. I really appreciate your words, thoughts and contribution!!
    auntfun I am glad to hear your husband is okay and Kathy and auntfun thank you so much for your great blogs!
    Thanks for your support!

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