Eating Disorder recovery for me is:
– enjoying a meal until I feel full, being able to put food on my plate or in my body without even considering the amount of calories or how long I would have to work out before burning it off.
– never knowing or caring how many calories I ate in a day or what my exact weight is. Never even having the thought of throwing up what I ate or starving myself for days because of negative thoughts.
-Knowing that “fat” isn’t a feeling, so when I look at and feel the feelings I have, I won’t obsess about fat, control, food, negative things about myself
– not having a scale in the house and being totally okay with that.
– Being able to wear what I want, go in public and not automatically be thinking about how bad I look or how I will avoid eating.
– Being able to sit down in front of people and have a meal and really enjoy myself.
– Starting and ending my day feeling peace and happiness. To be able to change thoughts so I stop myself when I start to put myself down.
– Writing a gratitude journal and being grateful for my life, the people in it and for being me almost every day 🙂
– Being able to look in a mirror for a minute, even if I think a bad comment or make a derrogatory joke about myself, I can walk away and laugh and genuinely enjoy my day.
– To have peace and joy, to have fun at movies or a gathering, to order extra cream in my latte and have a brownie without feeling even a twinge of guilt or self loathing.
– To see light in each day, think more clearly and feel better.
– To not be confused, sad, have mood swings or be constantly tired.
– To be able to cry when I am sad and to be able to be happy without feeling guilty for either.
– To love myself and my life.