Everybody has a bad day. A day that seems to be tougher than others, where everything you touch breaks, everything you do takes twice as long, every thing that happens just makes the day crappier. Some bad days for one person, may seem like a piece of cake to another.
A client told me “Please stop telling me to have a good day. I am 95, I don’t have good days, I will never have a good day so please stop telling me to..” A bad day for someone like her is filled with loneliness, aches and pain, boredom and her thoughts. She does everything for herself from cooking to bathing to getting her mail.She is a sweet lady and has good days when her children take her out or come visit.
Another client has dementia. A bad day is when he can’t get his thoughts, life is confusing, he knows his memories are slipping away and he needs someone with him 24 hours a day. He doesn’t like his independence being gone. He is a great guy. Funny, a loving family man, proud. His good days are when he remembers his loved ones names and his children come to visit.
One day I was going to see a client and an accident occurred half a block away from me. Two cars and a light post involved. This was the third accident I saw that week and fifth in just a few weeks. Each person involved in those accidents were admittedly having a bad day. The day would now be spent calling insurance companies or dealing with injuries, finding transportation. One girl was crying on the phone as she told her dad she smashed his car. He was now having a bad day too but he was just grateful she was okay. It could have been much worse. Many people aren’t so lucky. They have many bad days.
I have a client with no legs. They have many good days, but they have had bad days. I can’t imagine a day where you are told a part of you in being taken away, and then losing the second leg, and a great deal of your independence. Your life is changed. A bad day doesn’t begin to describe what that must be like. They love days where they spend time with their sister or friends.
I have bad days. There have been days that have made all my other “bad days” seem less bad. Days that I thought were so bad nothing could ever be worse. I don’t have bad days now. Some are not as joyful as others but I am blessed. My best days are with family and friends. My best moments are with my daughter. She makes a bad day into a good day, just by being a part of it. I know I can get through anything, because I got through bad days. I have heard a few clients say that “You just have to accept that life happens so you just have to accept it”. Sometimes it does.
The great thing about life is that there are good days too. Bad days give you a better appreciation for the good days. It can change the definition of a good day or a bad day. Bad days shape us and strengthen us as we get through them. They can change our outlook on life and change our soul. Good days may be changed but they bring joy. Often a deeper, more grateful hearted joy for good days. The things you are grateful for change because of bad days.
Sometimes life changes in an instant and you just have to accept life as it is, waiting for the good days and when they finally come you appreciate the little things and the big things that much more. You appreciate the good days of the past and savour the good days of the future. It makes it possible for you to have more compassion for someone else’s bad day and more tolerance for your own.