I spent many years of my life making bad choices, being unhappy and stressed and hurting myself and other people because I was more worried about what other people thought of me than figuring out what I thought about myself.
I realized recently just how much I have changed. My life is filled with peace and an inner joy, not because of anything that happened on the outside but because I learned that in all honesty…. it doesn’t matter at all what any other person in the world thinks about me, it is all about what I think of myself. I live my life now for my happiness, not that I am being selfish, but because that is the only way to find happiness.
The past decade has seen me do a soul searching, life changing journey to find myself. I started the journey due to my love for my family and ended by finding a love for myself. It is funny but when you live your life trying to guess what will make everyone else happy- no one ends up happy. You were made to be you….flaws and all. It is okay that you have made mistakes in your life because every person that ever came to earth does. That is what life is all about….making mistakes until you find success.
When you learn a new skill like Math or Playing an instrument or how to preform your job. You are given training, you are walked through your mistakes and you learn as you go…life is about learning how to live. You are trained as you go, learning from your mistakes and pick up skills as you pick yourself up after each stumble. No one knows how to live perfectly. Everyone has their struggles, you have never failed until you have given up and don’t try one more time. That is what the joy of life is…you can always try one more time. It doesn’t matter what you did a decade ago, a year ago, a day or even a minute ago…it is about what you do in this present moment.
If you see yourself as a nice person…be nice in this moment, and the next and the next…before you know it your day, week, month, life….is filled with nice actions because you lived each moment being nice. It doesn’t matter if the person in front of you is calling you mean or telling you that you are a failure….it is about how YOU see yourself…if you are nice in that moment and the next then your actions show you are a nice person…, if you get up and try again and again then your actions show you are not a failure.
I felt a burden, weight and stress lifted from my life as I started living each moment being who I wanted to be, not who I thought others wanted. I find peace in each moment and happiness in even the most difficult of trials because I live each moment being me…the person I want to be and as I found love for myself I realized how many loved ones I have that like who I am and how many reasons there are to be happy just because I’m me.