Today a family I care about dearly lost their dad. I have had many friends lose loved ones in recent years. Whether it was their young child, their soul mate or devoted and wise parent I am at a loss for what to say. No matter how spiritual you are or how strong your belief in the afterlife, there is no physical pain that compares with the pain your soul feels when a loved one is taken from you, especially if you didn’t get a chance to say goodbye- til we meet again…thank you for giving me so many reasons to love you here. I always mean well in my offers of emotional comfort and support but they cannot begin to express what I want to.
When I clumsily say “They are always close by and you will see them again”….I want to sing to your inner child who is aching with this loss and tell them…it won’t always hurt this much. When I remind you of Heavenly Father’s plan, I know it does little to easy your longing to have your loved one here….God really will take care of them on the other side. It truly is your loved one returning home…and you remaining in the boarding school of life. I know it is hard to understand but that is why we are still on this journey of life, we need to learn more, live more. We would celebrate a friend leaving college a few years before us to get their PHD. in the nicest school even if it was across the globe…Your loved one graduated from this school to get a higher education. I know this doesn’t lessen your pain dear friend, but your loved one is never going to feel pain again. I am sorry for your pain.
When I bring you casserole and brownies and you say thank you but add it to the rest….it is because I want to comfort you…To hug your spirit and I know there is no way to stop your soul from hurting right now…so I try to help the physical one. I feel like the little drummer boy…showing up with a casserole instead of a drum…I have nothing else to give perhaps it will ease the need to feed those who came to comfort you and say goodbye to your loved one. I wish I could comfort your soul but maybe I will comfort your stomach or your mind just for a minute.
When I lost a loved one in my life it was all a blur. People kept wanting to help, or offer support but I was kind of numb but in more pain than I ever thought possible. My closest loved ones were facing their own grief and loss. I could not comfort them when I couldn’t comfort myself. I knew Heavenly Father was in control, but it didn’t ease my pain. While offers of condolences and words of comfort were often met with my blank stare or polite nod they became significant in the years to come. Looking back on times of loss in my life, while the ache of loss is still there, the overwhelming feeling of love from friends and family replaced that pain.
While I don’t have the words to comfort you now…May you know with a surety that you are loved, your loved one mattered to the world and made a difference. Each of the clumsy conversations, cheesy caseroles and shared tears are a hug from your loved one…Heavenly Father put people in your life to help you through anything you have to face.