I have been thinking a lot about how much importance we put on the appearance of the physical body but how much we take for granted the miracle and beauty of one.
We judge others by their physical appearance, physical ability….what we see. I have been at both extremes on the weight scale. At 14 I weighed almost 250 pounds, at my thinnest I was near 100 pounds (at 5ft.11in tall). I know the pain of both situations. I know how much I took my body for granted and did not appreciate the miracle of it. I hated my body…no matter what my weight was.
As an overweight child who had buck teeth and a never ending bad hair day I was often judged on my physical appearance. I began to think that was the only measure of worth…how pretty or thin you were.
For many years I did everything I could to punish my physical body for being inferiour. I would ask God why I had to look like I did. I looked in the mirror and cried at the sight of myself. I remember one day walking out of school and a classmate yelling out the school bus window “It’s an earthquake…oh wait no it’s just her walking by”. Everyone laughed, I cried. I hated the way I looked, I hated the body I had…
I spent decades continously scaring my body and spirit with judgement, self abuse, punishment and destructive behaviour until one of my family members/best friends in life was in an accident that caused his body to fail him. Having accepted the prospect of living in a body that would no longer listen to him or do as he wished with incredible strength and courage…his body betrayed us one last time and he is now only with us in spirit. Oh how precious his physical existence was to me. What a miracle his physical presence was to me, I know he is close by in spirit but what I wouldn’t give to see his smirk or feel his punch of brotherly love on my arm as he gave me advice or teased me about being me.
I saw the pain in my parents eyes longing for their son to walk in the door. Something that would not happen again on this side of the veil. Yet as I hugged them with love, My physical body could comfort them. I was grateful for being here.
Even more of a wake up call to me was when my closest loved one and I were apart physically. I could not see or be with her for years. I physically ached to hug her, to see her beautiful smile and hear the incredibly precious sound of her laugh. I hated my physical body even more. I begged it to fail me and let my spirit go. It was a prison holding me in my pain….I forgot it would be the vessel that carried me to my greatest joys. I needed my physical body to be able to change the situation, to see her again, to tell her I love her and look into her eyes and have her know it. Family and friends physically rallied around me. Helping me heal both body and mind. I began to realize the incredible gift, power and miracle my body was.
I saw friends lose their children or spouse suddenly to illness or tragedy that would give anything in life to have them physically here to bask in each others presence. Or others that watched helplessly as a loved one slowly endured the shut down of their physical body. Heartbroken after days, weeks or years of seeing their physical pain and suffering. Amazed at the strength of their loved ones endurance and still begging for a miracle to keep them physically here.
I have seen spirits that have lost the will to live but physical bodies that carried on. Able to cope with excruiciating journeys and devestating pain. It is an incredible miracle. The body…a home for our spirits while in this world. A gift that allows us to feel, move, create, endure, grow, change, conquer and survive. It is a miracle, a gift that allows us to share, enjoy, experience everything on earth. It is the gift of life. I am blessed with the body I have. My body is a beautiful creation, a precious gift…it is amazing. No matter what it looks like, no matter what challenges it has….the more challenges the physical body has—the more beautiful it’s legacy, the more courageous the soul it is home to. I can’t hate this glorious gift. I can’t look at it and think anything other than how grateful I am for my body. It is amazing.
It is the mortal body that gets hugs, though the spirit forever grieves them.
I am blessed with a body that feels drops of rain,
And that is capable of surviving incredible pain
my miraculous eyes can see loved ones faces,
And my incredible legs help me stand in new places,
I have arms that help carry burdens of friends,
And my mouth delivers loving messages it sends,
I have a heart that beats to it’s own special drum,
And that is kind and loving just like my dear mom,
I have knees to bend that I might humbly pray,
Thanks for my lungs breathing in each new day,
I have two feet that carry me to those I love,
And skin that feels the warm sun above,
I have 206 bones that help me move and stand,
Ligaments & tendons that contract and expand,
I have ears to hear the songs of a bird,
And give me the joy of laughter I’ve heard,
There is blood pulsing through arteries and veins,
Neurons and water somehow form our brains,
How could I hate something so miraculous and strong,
To not love this awesome body would just be wrong.